The Blood of Brothers
by Sheila51
Summary: At Bardon Hill the knights fought for freedom... Or did they? Did they fight for Arthur? Or love? Multi character look at the knight's reasons for fighting that day. PG 13 for adult themes. One sided slash implied


**The Blood of Brothers **

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**A/N:** Wanted to do a multi character fic for a while now. So when I read a challenge a Ashley A's KA FF group I thought I'd respond to it!

Here is my humble offering!

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_Galahad: Bloodstained path_

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The smell never goes away. But that's not the worst part.

It stains you. Changes you. Turns you from boy to man, innocent to adult, blessed to damned.

I am bloodstained. And the blood has soaked into my skin so the smell never leaves me.

All my dreams are of a place where blood is a rare thing, a place where a man is not measured by his scars but by his crops.

Oh to be such a man! How I long for it with every fiber of my being.

I ask myself: Why am I still here on this bloodstained path through gory hell?

Because you are here with me. You listen when I have had enough, when the blood has unmanned me and I want to die because this nightmare seems unending.

You understand I want a life of peace and joy. Where I can be the man I want to be not the one necessity and pledges to Rome have made me.

The god's help me if you were not here! I know not what may have happened long since.

And so I will turn back on this day Artorius. On this day I will fight as a free man, not for Rome, not for myself... For you I will stain myself a little more.

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_Tristan: Writ in blood_

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I grin as I cut another Saxon down, their blood sprays red and warm, it soaks my hands.

But I do not mind.

I am not like Galahad. I do not regret the lives I take. I glory in them.

Like the huge Saxon I face now with his blonde hair and beard, the more difficult he is to kill the more uplifted I feel. Arthur offers his prayers on his knees, I give mine in blood.

I realise from my knees I may never offer another, the pain is a distant thing.

I wish I could see my hawk. My ever loyal hawk just one more time.

That is one of my few regrets.

Another is that I've never told anyone...

I've never said.

I've never admitted even to myself.

My prayers are for you Arthur.

Every last one.

And there is my hawk, she's watching me.

She screams, I hear you shout.

I know what this will cost you, every one of us that dies cost yu a little more.

I regret I couldn't write my masterpiece this day.

But perhaps I've prayed enough.

But I doubt it.

I regret... So much.

I love you Arthur. There I've said it. That I have never admitted to anyone.

All I do is for you because I love you. You won my love long ago.

And you will never know.

A smile crosses my lips.

I pray like you now, on my knees. For you.

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_Lancelot: Our blood on your hands_

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It was just a jolt I tell myself as the sword spins from my fingers.

I'm wondering why the world seems to be spinning, why I can't stand straight, why I'm suddenly fal

ling.

The blood is pounding in my ears.

I'm falling.

I feel myself jolt as I fall to the ground. I look down. Their is an arrow protruding from my chest.

My sword slips from fingers stained red with blood. And I am falling.

The sky above me spins.

I want to apologise.

I want to explain.

Distantly a hawk is screaming.

And somehow I know why.

And I want to be there with you as I have been so many times.

The times when you would weep like a broken man.

I'm sorry Arthur.

I know you will blame yourself.

You must not blame yourself, I know your coming. I know I just have to hold on, I have to tell you.

What do I have to tell you?

My mind is wandering. I cannot concentrate.

Then you are there, and you are crying, I see the tears in your eyes and on your face, but I can't speak. I have held on in vain and you will never know, you will never be free of the blood you stain yourself with.

Our blood my brother. You stain our loving, loyal blood on your hands.

But don't have to... because. Because... I cannt seem t remember, darkness seems to be falling, like a curtain across my vision...

And then I remember. It's because Arthur without you we would be lost. Without you we would be dead and buried. Without you we would have no best friend, no brother, no pillar that holds up our strength.

Without you we are nothing.

I smile. And my mouth makes to shape the words. But all that escapes my mouth is one word.

"Arthur."

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_Arthur: Blood soaked soul_

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Why?

That is the question that burns my soul as your body turns to ash.

My heart seems to ache and my throat is closed to any words I could mutter in farewell.

So many have died.

So many I should have saved.

But you most of all dearest Lancelot.

My best friend, my most loyal comrade, you brought light to me in the darkness of my blood steeped soul.

How can I go on without your guidance?

You always told me I must not blame myself for the deaths of those who died under my command.

You said that no number of recriminations could change the fact that men died, whether from old age or a wound they would die.

You said that you would die in battle.

You wanted to die in one of your own choosing.

Did I deny you that choice?

I cannot sleep nor think for the pain that binds my wretched soul.

A tear escapes my eyes, I feel it burn down my cheek. Like your loss burns my soul. I cannot do as you would have wished my friend.

I cannot forgive myself, I should have protected you, should have sent you away. Should have destroyed our friendship so you would not return.

I did not deserve it after all. I did not save you my dearest friend. Nor Tristan, Dagonet, Percival, Bevidere... The list goes on.

How many will die before men will stop fllowing me?

I do not deserve their trust.

Their ill lost blood drenches my soul, their faces haunt me at night, but yours Lancelot. You haunt my waking being and I know never will I be whole again.

Without you I am blood soaked. In your blood I am drowning.

And I cannot catch breath nor can I wake from this nightmare because I am blood soaked.

And so I watch you turn to dust.

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_Merlin: Brothers blood_

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I watch you weep. And understand.

I see them die. And understand.

But what you do not understand I do.

They love you for yourself Arthur. For your loyalty to them, they love you for your compassion, your dedication, your honor, your truthfulness, but above all, they love you for your humanity.

Indeed they would love you withut some of these traits.

For they are your brothers, and brothers will love you even with your flaws.

As someone said, 'people will like you for your virtues, but love you for your flaws.'

They love you for caring Arthur.

But you will not listen t them or me, you will take their blood, your brothers blood. And dip yourself full into the stream of it.

And that too I understand.

For I do the same. And that is why whatever you ask of me I will do. For we too are brothers of a kind, you and I. And I will bleed for you as they do, and you will steep yourself in my blood.

And we will be blood brothers.

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Please review! 


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